Coping with Childlessness

Being childless is sometimes like living without membership to a special world. It is also sometimes peaceful.
Being childless is like missing a part of your soul. Yet i still feel complete.
Being childless is lonely and without legacy. Being tied to no child gives you many more.
Being childless is empty and yet thinking of this child fill my days.

Jodie x

Coping and coming to terms with a childless future is a constant up and down of feelings and emotions. All of which seem to make sense at different moments in a day. But like a balloon blowing in the wind, you never seem to stay still and stick with one emotion. Some feature more than others but never just the one.

Infertility and Depression

How To Deal With Infertility Depression
By Dean Caporella

Infertility depression is a tough condition to overcome. Consider the fact that a person who has to deal with an infertility issue is one thing but when depression is thrown into the mix, the problem then expands two-fold. A negative mental state on top of a negative mental state cannot be good for anyone's pysche.

Can infertility depression be overcome? Sure, but dealing with both problems as one is a delicate matter. Depression is a challenge all on it's own and should be dealt with on an individual basis. A person coming to grips with infertility has to focus on the treatment for that condition maintaining as clear a mental state of mind as possible. There is a clear correlation between maintaining a positive mind during treatment and experiencing a successful outcome.

Men And Women

Depression as a result of infertility is usually more common with women than with men. Women find it harder to accept infertility and will suffer a whole range of emotions. Apart from the obvious emotion of frustration, women tend to go through emotions such as jealousy and anger. A feeling of inadequacy soon pervades a woman's thinking and this in turn can place further stress on the relationship between herself and her partner.

Is There Treatment Available?

Seeking treatment for depression as a result of on-going infertility issues almost becomes an issue in itself. Because depression is still perceived as an unacceptable stigma, many people feel uncomfortable in seeking therapy support for fear of being cast as mentally defective. Consider though that if depression is a result of infertility then there is an underlying reason for the depression. Seeking therapy support then, makes good sense.

Many experts are starting to believe that depression therapy should become a compulsory part of the overall treatment process. At what stage of the treatment it should be introduced is debatable but wouldn't it make sense to introduce some level of therapy early in that treatment process? It would alleviate, to a great extent the fear of a person seeking support individually.

Support Forums

Support forums, whether online or in a physical sense are resources those struggling to come to terms with their infertility should consider utilising. Online forums are excellent because of their anonymity factor. One of the big bonuses with forums is that they are made up of both people who are currently experiencing infertility and those who have been through it. Getting the support and advice from those who have been through it is especially beneficial.

Infertility depression can only be understood by those who have been or are experiencing it. The good news is that if you are going through it, you don't need to suffer through it alone.

Dean Caporella is a professional broadcaster. Infertility is an emotional topic. Can conditions such as about infertility depression be overcome?

Preparing for Pregnancy and your Baby

I am relaxed and I am open. I believe in ME.

I am running my hands over my body and my skin feels soft, young and supple. I am comfortable in my body. I am comfortable in my skin.

My body is ready to create our baby.

I feel my body’s brilliant health and I grow healthier each day. I am strong. I am flexible. My body has the strength it needs. I enjoy building my fitness everyday.

My body is ready to have a baby.

My womb is rich in nutrients, healthy and ready to grow our child. I feel alive and vibrant. I am digesting my food efficiently and my body removes toxins safely. I am relaxed and focused. I am hydrated. I am attracted to a healthy lifestyle. I feel my body’s needs.

I am ready to grow our baby.

My mind thrives with growing our child. I am connected to my body and what I need. I am connected to my mind and my spirit. I am connected to our unborn child. I can see the perfect being I am. I speak my mind and live my life with love.

I am ready to love our baby.

My blood, full of oxygen runs through every inch of my body feeding my cells and filling the space between my cells with nutrients. My cells are absorbing all the nutrients, breathing the life around them. I have more and more energy. My organs are functioning efficiently.

I am ready to take care of our baby.

My hormones are perfectly in tune with my body’s needs. I feel fantastic and alive. I love who I am and I am proud of ME. I look after myself and I deserve all good things.

My body is in wonderful condition to carry our child and recover quickly. I have the stamina and calmness of mind to experience pregnancy and the birth of our child. I am a beautiful mother and capable of creation.

I am ready to hold our baby.

We do experience our thoughts…they do become reality!
Good night and sweet dreams, beautiful Mother-To-Be.
You are an incredibly capable being.

By Jodie

Poem- When We Were Very Young.

From “The Island” (When We Were Very Young)

And there would I rest, and lie,
My chin in my hands, and gaze
At the dazzle of sand below,
And the green waves curling slow,
And the grey-blue distant haze
Where the sea goes up to the sky….

And I’d say to myself as I looked so lazily down at the sea;
“There’s nobody else in the world, and the world was made for me.”

By A. A. Milne

I like this poem. Thought you might too,

It always makes me feel better.

Ursula

Poem- In this moment.

A lovely poem from Jay that reminds us just uncomplicated life is, and who we can be.

Thanks Jay!

IN THIS MOMENT

In this moment you can breathe

You can see

You can smell

And you can touch,

In this moment

You can feel

You can love

You can hurt,

In this moment

You can smile

You can frown

You can laugh

You can cry,

In this moment

You can imagine

You can believe

You can have your fantasy

You can have faith,

In this moment

You can have choices

You can decide

You can think

You can ask,

In this moment

You can be anything

Go anywhere

Have everything

Have it all,

In this moment

you are

In this moment

you will

In this moment

you were

Everything this moment is.

By Jay Andersen

Introduction, My Vision and My Story

We have not had the privilege of having our own child ... just yet, however I have had many a dream of that day.

The idea of pregnancy and birth conjures up moments of gripping fear in a lot of women and truely wonderful anticipation and bliss in others. What on earth makes such a difference? There are many things guilty of altering our perceptions and experiences; one of which is fear. As for trying to conceive; anxiety, desperation, frustration and disappointment are just a few of the emotions experienced.

There was a time when i was filled with fear. The very notion of giving birth to a child seemed impossible and terrified the pants off me. I felt at the time i could not control it, despite what i had learnt through NLP and power of mind. This feeling seemed too big to overcome and i was too embarrassed to tell anyone but a close friend. My husband though, was the only one who really understood and knew everything we were going through. It can be a lonely time and i was blaming myself for not being pregnant. Fear can be gripping and my usual meditations and yoga did not help. We were getting increasingly frustrated.

Then there were some times when it didn't affect me at all and i felt invincible...Go figure!

I have learnt that, depending on my focus, what i see and feel can change in an instant. Everyone knows what i mean. Somedays all you can see are beautiful pregnant bellies, smiling babies and wonderful things. The next day all you see are screaming, snotty nosed children and tired, stressed parents trying to stay in control!!!

Lying in bed at night was probably the most eventful time for me. My mind would either race with excitement at the thought of our own child...baby boys names...baby girls names...how we would tell people...what we would buy...who would be babysitters...would it be a boy or a girl...my parents becoming grandparents...my brothers and sisters buying inappropriate Christmas presents, to the heart stopping fear of pain, change and disbelief in our bodies' abilities and strength. It was so difficult to overcome and convince my mind otherwise.

My husband would often venture into book stores, pick up pregnancy books and flick through the pages. I would catch a glimpse at 'brave' women birthing their babies and it would haunt me for days and weeks. We were stuck in a black hole that seemed to swallow us. We both desparately wanted a baby and we were both incredibly afraid. We were not alone, so many people experience this.

So our journey began, growing closer to our unborn child. We had to find answers.

Trying to conceive, for us came with it's own speed bumps, however we had some ground to cover mentally and emotionally too. We needed to find our strength and believe in our inner strength again. We knew how powerful our bodies could be and what they could accomplish. We had been holding ourselves back from experiencing something beautiful.

One wonderful night 7 years ago i went to bed and had the most incredible dream. When i woke the following morning my fears had dissolved and were replaced with a calm. It was mind altering and hilarious. Something so simple had shifted me and i felt the peace and an inner confidence that i had previously wished for. I want to share it with you, even though it is a little on the bizarre side! Critics be kind! Aren't all dreams a smidge crazy? A bit about that later when i pluck up the courage.

So after this night of clarity, this incredible dream, i was determined to compile a collection of like minded stories and mantras. I had the insightful idea to trust my intuition!!! There are other women and men out there who are experiencing similar feelings. Whether they are already pregnant or trying to be. It has taken me until now to do it!

I am looking for stories to help others through the tough moments. Wouldn't it be great to have a special, secret tool for men and women to counteract the all too common, caring relative or friend divulging every harrowing experience they had with their pregnancy and birth.

You need not edure pregnancy and birth. You can choose a different experience.

But i will let Mothers, Fathers, Doulas, Midwives and the like tell you that.

We would much rather stories of beautiful trust, belief, spirituality, confidence, positivity and certainty. Stories of oneness and connection with your body and baby, and the right to feel safe! Doing this on my journey has helped me feel more confident in my own body's ability to conceive by putting me in a better frame of mind.

So this is the begining of that... I will also include visualisations and mantras i have written that are wonderful for meditation and have helped us immensely on our journey of trying to conceive. Without fear we can accomplish anything.

Join me in helping others be fearless, take control of their inner world and allow their bodies to do what comes naturally.

Choose to bring your baby into this world with love and not fear. I hope you find support, love, guidance and inspiration in peoples stories.

I will post my ideas for content in the next couple of days.

Thank you and Hugs all 'round!